You, Me, We're Forbidden
by letschangetheworld
Summary: Lily Evans has a completely irrational fear of the forbidden forest, among other things. Two-shot, swearing.
1. Encounter

Yes, another two-shot. But really, we love James and Lily and their cuteness, yeah?

Swearing and obviously not mine, but I wouldn't mind a review?

* * *

I do not fear a lot of things. Really, I don't.

I'm pretty robust. I can handle dark places, spiders, clowns (why on earth anybody is even afraid of one in the first place baffles me), heights, you name it. _I am not afraid_.

There are the things that you kind of fear because, well, its terribly hard not to. Death Eaters, Voldemort, acne. Those things.

Of all the girls in my dorm, all my fellow female 7th years, I'm probably the one who would rise to the occasion if say, a wasp or a beetle were in our room. In fact, just last week Alice found a minuscule spider and enlisted my help through incoherant shrieking and wailing. If somebody was dying, I would be there. If somebody had to climb something or do something extremely dangerous, it would be me. I guarantee you.

"Lily?" Oh look, there's the spider hunter now. "What are you doing?"

"What does it _look _like I'm doing?" I ask her with raised eyebrows, twisting away and looking innocently up at her.

"Don't tell me you still suspect something big and hairy and threatening is going to come out of there," Alice drones from behind me. I can hear the little smirk in her tone. I hate her a little. "You're batty."

"I am not."

She noisily exhales. "Well, Frank and I are going for a walk." Thank god, I don't think my cherished green eyes could stand the sight of those two sucking face again. "You won't report us, will you, Head Girl?"

"Obviously not. Go, let him squeeze your bosoms."

I watch her wander away off towards her boyfriend Frank Longbottom (greatest last name ever), who is standing awkwardly by the portrait, entirely endearing in his pudgy sort of way. He's a nice boy, treats her well, buys her things, pays attention to her... who am I kidding. They'll get married and pop out kids and I'll be the babysitter who lives down the street with eight five crazy cats that leave my outdoor-toilet-sized house reeking of urine.

Muttering about how much my life is going to suck, I watch Mrs. Longbottom peck Mr. Longbottom on the cheek before they traipse out of the common room. Alice doesn't much like it when I call her that, but she blushes so strongly that I have to keep using the nickname.

"Calls me batty, who does she think she is..." I go back to what I was doing before she rudely interrupted and berated me.

I turn in my armchair and press my nose against the cool glass of the window, peering suspiciously out at the grounds of Hogwarts. My eyes are glued to the outskirts of the forbidden forest, because I swear to whatever higher heavenly power there is, _something will come out of there_.

I might fear it just a bit, the forest. Maybe a tad.

Alright, it scares the living bejeezers out of me and I will be caught DEAD near it.

I don't think I've ever been within spitting distance. Even when I join my friends on leisurely walks around the lake on Sunday mornings I stay well away from the edge of it (I have willingly soaked my shoes in the past).

I reiterate; I will be caught _DEAD_ near it. I'm positive its full of monsters and dead stuff and slime-producing creatures and other things of definite terror. The Marauders probably have their headquarters in there, the more I think about it. Sirius Black certainly has the potential to produce slime. Ew, mental image.

I blink hard for the first time since Alice left, my reflection blinking hard back at me. I hate the Marauders. Alright, maybe I don't hate them. They annoy me. Or did; Sirius still does annoy me and I refuse to sit near the boy because I have anxiety about catching a disease, deadly or sexual, both very likely with that strange Gryffindor.

_James Potter doesn't annoy you_, my mind taunts. Shut up, yes he does, he's Head Boy and he should not have been Head Boy. Even though he seems to be taking his duties very seriously and not fucking up.

He's also really nice to look at. Really, really nice. I imagine one day I'll be staring dreamily at the back of his head in class and a rainbow will sprout out around him. Alice bothers me about it, which is okay because I keep calling her Mrs. Longbottom.

James has this head of really thick lucious black hair (I touched it when he bent down to retrieve a pencil and my hand happened to be in the vicinity, I told him it was accidental but I'm a good liar, ha) and these brown eyes that seem to somehow have hints of amber in them. His glasses are so very cute. I just called glasses cute.

Maybe I am batty.

He's tall and lean and enjoys Quidditch and causing mischief and grief towards the teachers and he's sweet and MY GOD, WHAT IS WITH ME?

I shut my eyes tightly. Lillian Paige Evans, grab a hold of yourself! Stop obsessing over Potter and refocus all your attention on the fact that the forest is going to sprout feet and attack you.

"What are you doing?"

For crying out loud, is that the question of the day or something?

I whirl around in my chair and come face to face with the abdominal area (not to groin region, kill me now) of James Potter.

He's ditched his robes and has loosened his tie, letting it hang loosely around his neck. The white oxford shirt is untucked, unbuttoned slightly and rolled up his arms a little, the arms that are crossed over his chest. He's eyeing me with raised eyebrows.

He looks so attractive, I am so doomed.

For the second time in ten minutes, I ask, "What does it _look _like I'm doing?"

"Absorbing yourself into the window," James answers smoothly. I glare. "But that's completely impossible, so really, I'm at a loss as to what you're doing."

"Go away," I manage to get out.

He raises his eyebrows high above his glasses, slightly affronted but really he's not because he has an ego encased in steel and then pillows. "Go away?" he repeats. "Why would I want to _go away_?"

I go into six year old mode and give him one final withering look before turning back to the aforementioned window and squashing my nose back against it. I expect him to declare me insane and walk away, but I feel him move around the plush armchair to my side.

Daringly, my eyes slide to the right to try and see what he's doing without relenting up on the window. James Potter crouches down beside me, oddly at the same height now (he's _tall_, have I mentioned that?) and peers out the glass.

"Is there something out there?" he asks, curious. "Or do you just like the sunset? You know, the sunset reminds me a lot of you."

"If you say something like it hurts the eyes when you look directly at it..."

James barks out a laugh, leaning away from the window to look me dead on. "Of course not."

He points out the window. "Its kind of orange and red, like your hair." I feel his other hand come up, his fingers brushing very gently, a ghostly touch, against a few tendrils of hair that have escaped my messy ponytail.

"And its very pretty. Natch, you are very pretty. Well, more like gorgeous. You kind of outshine the sunset. Sunset versus Lily Evans, you would win. Hands down."

I pull away from the glass, eyeing him. "You.." I try to find the right words, but I can't. "Shut up, James."

"Oh ho," James is suddenly beaming like I've just given birth to his child. "You called me James!"

"Did you change your name or something?"

"You never call me James. Its always 'Potter' with a certain level of distain."

"Go away."

"Only if you tell me what in Merlin's name you're doing over here in the corner of the common room, by yourself, staring out the window with your cute little button nose smushed up against the glass."

As if he just refered to my nose with the words 'cute little button'. I take a deep breath, glancing from the window to Potter's adorable expectant face.

"I'm waiting for the forbidden forest to unleash its fury."

Silence. He stares at me for a full couple of moments, not moving a single muscle until I see one twitch by his mouth. Oh, for heaven's sake, here we go. Its Alice all over again.

"You're... you're what?"

"Call me insane," I find myself shrieking at a higher decibel, "but there is something in that forest!"

More silence. Go ahead, James. Whisk me away to the hospital ward to be examining thoroughly by the nurse. Do it. Or better, take me to St. Mungo's where they can extract my brain and see what on earth is causing these feelings of panic towards the forest and attraction towards you which are utterly -

"Well, let's go investigate then."

Wait, what? What the hell does that mean, investigate? Go look at it? HA. Lily Evans and investigating the forest do not sound even remotely good in the same sentence. No way.

"_Are you idiotic_?" I hiss at him, eyes wide and full in shock.

James laughs, arching an eyebrow in return. I see it coming and I'm not all that surprised when he replies, "Do you really want to have that conversation? You, who has been trying to melt through the window?"

--

The forbidden forest is a lot more intimidating when you're ten feet away from it. I am going to shat my knickers.

"Lily?" James' voice jolts me out of my debate between crying and running for the hills. "Are you.. are you afraid?"

"Nooooo," I drawl out slowly, albeit my voice is wobbly. "Its just cold."

"Its June," he replies. "How do you react in December?"

Glare mode is in full force again. That little twat is going to get himself whacked upside the head by a branch if he doesn't shut up soon. Though, a branch would mean I would have to venture a few steps closer and I don't really want to so I might settle for my hand.

"Ow!"

Yes, that did just fine.

"What on earth was that for?"

"Let's get this over, _Potter_." I make sure to stress his last name; the first name thing was a slip of the tongue. Pure accident. "Just a few steps in and we'll see if there's.. something.. and y'know, then go back."

That sounded really lame outloud, didn't it. He's smirking but he doesn't say anything and instead grabs my clammy hand and tugs me closer. Moses part the Red Sea, I am going to die!

"Evans."

We stop walking because I've dug my heels into the ground and dragged a good couple of pounds of grass and soil with me. That, and I'm shaking like a leaf, sweating and whimpering slightly. Damn, he must have caught on.

"You're shit scared, aren't you?" His voice is kind, gentle, soft. Not teasing.

I glance at a large tree that lines the outskirts, large and angry-looking. It might eat me up. "Yes."

A smile tugs at his lips and I try very hard not to grin bashfully in return, but like usual nowadays, I fail dismally. "Alright, alright! Lily Evans is terrified of the forbidden forest. She has a completely irrational fear of it, even during the middle of the day when its nice and sunny outside and you can see further in. I'm scared. Go ahead, James, laugh it up."

"I'm not laughing, Lils." He's right, he's not - wait, Lils? Did he just call me _Lils_?

This time, its a smile on my lips rather than his. "What did you just say?"

He's blushing. James Potter is blushing in the prescence of Lily Evans, _because _of something Lily Evans said. Where is a piece of paper and a quill when you need it.

"Ha!" I laugh loudly, pointing somewhat rudely at his face with my free hand. "Did you get into woman's makeup or are you blushing, James Potter?" I wiggle my finger at him mockingly.

He rolls his eyes, grabbing my wiggly finger and holding it tightly. I grimace and twist slightly, half laughing and half cursing his ancestors before him.

"Let go, you big tosser! You're going to break my finger! Uncle! Uncle!"

I'm not entirely sure how I managed to get myself there, but surprisingly I'm closer to James than normal. Real close. Close enough to see the flecks of amber in his eyes. His breath is heavy on my face, fanning it, and I suspect mine on his is doing the same. Our hands are still joined and James is still clutching my index finger, though the grip has faltered quite a bit.

He's leaning forward, oh Merlin. Our lips are less than a fingernail's width away. What am I doing, what am I doing, what am I DOING?

I'm snapped back to reality when the giant squid off to our right lazily flaps around the surface of the lake with one its tentacle thingies. Panic mode (I have lots of modes) kicks it and I step away hurriedly. James doesn't hide the disappointment in his shoulders or eyes and its like a physical punch to the stomach. _What am I really doing_?

"Did you still want to investigate?" James clears his throat.

"Not really," I answer, detaching our hands, turning myself back towards the suddenly inviting looking castle. "But thanks anyways. You coming?"

I'm remarkably well put together despite the awkwardness that just occurred.

James stares at me for a second before shaking his head. "I'm going to stay out here for a while, go ahead." He puts his hands in his pockets and gives me a strained smile.

As I cross the grounds, arms tight across my chest, I try to decipher what just happened, what I'm doing, what he's doing. Maybe I'm not afraid of the forbidden forest. Maybe its not what it seems.

Maybe I'm afraid of exploring things.


	2. Decided

Thank you for the reviews, I really appreciate it! On with the second part!

**Nothing is mine**, but I wouldn't mind a James. Wouldn't we all.

* * *

"Oh for Christ's sake, Lily! Get your face away from that goddamn window and be a normal human being!"

Alice is screeching at me again, as she seems to like doing. This is the fifth night I've plotted myself down in the exact same armchair, in front of the exact same window and stared out at the exact same grounds.

I whine back, splaying my hands across the panes of effortless glass, "Leave me alone, I'm depressed."

"Over what? The would-be kiss you chickened out of? The fact that you chickened out of not only that, but stepping into the forest?"

"You are awful grumpy tonight, Alice Longbottom," I bite back, huffing crossly which causes the window to fog up.

"So are you, Lily _Potter_."

WOAH. Woah, woah, woah. Hold on. Pause, rewind, play. Did she... did she just refer to me as James'... oh, Merlin, minor panic attack. She just called me Lily Potter.

Thank goodness the room is relatively empty and nobody seems to give a damn. I swivel away from the window and stare at her smug face, ready to blast the look off when my tense body seems to relax and a wave of something washes over me, wipes my anger away, reveals something.

I like James Potter. _Crap_.

Alice smiles triumphantly, noticing that I've finally seemed to grasp it. "If you have a girl with Four-Eyes, you better name her after me."

"Never," I declare, pausing a moment when I realize I haven't actually dismissed the idea of me and James having... children together. "I mean, its never going to happen."

Alice untangles her legs from their folded position and wanders over to me, giving me a kind smile yet a smile that I know really means _I-have-figured-you-out-you-rotten-liar_. "You should find him," she sings obnoxiously in my ear, perching herself on the arm of the chair.

"Go away," I mutter pathetically, glancing out the window again just in case I missed something happening out on the grounds.

"Lily," she starts calmly, wrapping her arm around my shoulders and giving me one of those side hugs, squeezing me unintentionally to her chest. I try to squirm away. "I think that if you go find Potter right now - oy, quit moving - you might feel a lot better about this entire ordeal."

"What entire ordeal?" I ask, finally giving up and settling myself into her shoulder comfortably. What a great friend.

"You know, the chickening out and the forest and your hidden desire to romance Potter - "

Never mind, I'm going to slaughter her with my bare hands. "Those are just minor problems in my life, not ordeals. That's a bit of a stretch, Longbottom."

Alice sighs. "Whatever you say, Potter. But seriously. Quit your bitching and whining and forest-watching and go find the blasted boy."

"I'm going to get my heart... hurt," I whisper to her quietly, as I gaze out the window at the sky instead of the slopes of green grass.

She pulls away, blinking those huge crystal blue eyes down at me. "Hurt?" Alice gapes. "Are you serious?"

"Why wouldn't I be! I'd be another... notch on his... bedpost..." God, I am so lame.

Much to my astonishment and annoyance, Alice bursts out laughing. I stare at her weirdly as she leans forward, still laughing her pretty little head off. "I am never talking to you again," I announce.

"Are we even talking about the same guy here?" she asks me once she composes herself. "James Potter? The one guy in this school who has always - no matter what, even if you didn't want him to - looked after you? The guy who asked you out forty seven times in one day? Who declared his love for you in fourth year while standing on a table in the library? Who has recently grown up and showed himself and proved himself? The really, really hunky one who is a lovely flirt all of a sudden? A really lovely guy all around? _The one who would do anything for you_?"

She's on a roll.

Alice takes a deep breath, pinching the bridge of her nose. I can't help but grin just slightly; she's going to have gray hair before she's twenty. "Lily, if you even think that James would even consider breaking your heart... you're stupid!"

I gasp. Stupid?! Nobody calls me stupid!

"Take that back!"

"Nope," Alice says proudly, lifting her arm away from me and slipping off the arm of the chair. "Not until you go get your man, woman!"

"What are we, cave people?"

"_Lily_..."

"I'm going! Don't get your knickers in such a knot, Frank will have a hell of a time undoing them."

--

So, here's the deal. I don't go looking for James. I'm too much of... well, pussy. I'm afraid. Since when have I been so afraid of things?

I don't track down the man Alice thinks I'm going to repopulate with, but I do find myself wearily gazing at the forest, less than five feet away from it. I'm progressing, taking baby steps. If we did it in baby steps, I'd probably be fifteen feet away from it which sounds so much better than _five_.

I tilt my head to the right, thinking the forest might look a little nicer. No luck. Maybe looking at it from the left?

I'm not sure how long I've been lingering in this same spot, but its probably going on multiple hours by now. The sun left about three minutes ago, leaving the grounds just slightly lit. I want to high tail it out of there once its completely dark, but the really robust part of me telling me grow a pair and stick it through.

When the sun was descending further and further behind me, I couldn't help but remember what James had said yesterday.

_Its kind of orange and red, like your hair. You kind of outshine the sunset. Sunset versus Lily Evans, you would win._

It's probably bad for my health, thinking about James Potter so much. I sigh miserably, my legs giving way. I slump down on the cool grass, bend my knees up and rest my elbows on them, letting my arms dangle above my feet.

This is so stupid. I _am _so stupid.

James should quit withering away his time over me. There's probably a million eligible ladies out there that would do everything in their power to be the best girlfriend in history. He'll probably end up marrying one of them because he'll probably end up coming to his senses soon and realizing what a waste I am.

_Such _a high self-esteem I have.

I purse my lips, narrow my eyes. I imagine the forest would be doing the same if it, you know, had a face or something resembling one. That is it. Today ('tonight' would make more sense) Lily Evans is going to walk into the forbidden forest.

And hopefully not perish painfully.

I clamber to my feet and square my shoulders determinedly. Its just a forest, Lily. Imagine it as that little park you used to play in with Petunia. Just like that.

I take huge strides forward. One, two, three, four, five, six, I'm past the edge, seven, eight, I am officially standing within the boundaries of the forbidden forest.

I look over my shoulder briefly, clearly able to see the spot where I was cowering earlier. Easy smeasy. But now since I'm finally in...

I don't need to go any further or anything.

--

Its been at least half an hour or so, right? Long enough to legitimately boast to those who know (_knew_, I guess) about my absurd fear that I overcame it?

I think so. Way to go, Lily. You did it. Okay, now just turn around and - "

"Investigating?"

Oh, no. I shut my eyes tightly, willing the nearby tree to come alive and swallow me whole.

"Yes," I answer cautiously, turning around fully. I already know who it is.

James smiles reassuringly at me. "That wasn't so bad, was it?"

"I'm like two feet in, its can hardly be considered a huge feat or anything… but I'm telling people differently," I fidget with my hands. Since when did I fidget in front of James? I only do it when I'm nervous.

What the heck, stop fidgeting!

He tucks his hands into his pockets, shrugging those broad shoulders that I would really love to run my hands across. "Still, you're standing in the forbidden forest. Officially. You can now formally say that you have been in it."

"Yeah." My voice is quiet. "I guess so."

"Proud?"

Am I? I don't know.

"I guess," I reply with a shrug of my own shoulders. "I probably should've done it first year when everybody else was accomplishing it and crossing it off their list of things to do before they die."

"People _have_ those?" James pulls a face. "Like, literal lists? I just keep a tiny one in my head."

I look back over my shoulder in between the dark trees and the wild bushes. A shiver runs up my spine. I can't believe I'm doing this. I am so insane, I have lost all neuron skills. "What's in there anyways?"

"In the forest? All sorts of things," James says casually. "Unicorns, fawns, centaurs, thestrals and some even say they've seen a huge spider or two. And then you've got the normal deer, rabbits, bugs. Its not too bad." He pauses. "I've been in there a fair few times and I've yet to be killed."

I make a noise of acknowledgement as I continue to look intently into the forest. I hear James' footsteps as he comes closer to me, apparently noticing how enthralled I am at the moment.

"Do you want to go explore further?"

At first, the answer is a huge fat no. My imagination is successfully running amok with the idea of whopping spiders and monstrous thestrals. I'm quite content with screaming my response and running full steam back to the school with my tail decisively between my legs.

But then neurons seem to start working again and I unearth an alternative answer, an alternative way that question can be perceived. I am going to do this, I am seriously going to do this, fear be damned.

"Yeah, I do."

James still thinks we're talking about the forest, silly boy. I know he's probably smiling at me. He appears in my peripheral sight, stepping over some branches with his hands still in his pockets.

"Good, let's go then."

I stay where I am. "James," I begin slowly. "I'm not talking about the damn forest."

He stops, his back to me. I imagine the cogs whirling around in that head, trying to figure out what I'm saying. He seems to be unable to though, and turns to me with a totally bemused expression on his face, clear through the dark even though it must be at least one in the morning.

"What do you mean?"

James doesn't make his way back to me, which means I have to advance further into the forest. But this is so worth it; adrenaline is pumping and I keep telling myself that this will have a huge pay out. My feet move on their own accord because the rational part of me is telling me to RUN LIKE HELL.

"_Potter_." My voice is ridiculously affectionate. I am _such_ a girl. "I'm willing to explore further."

"Yes, you said that. I get it, but I was talking about the – "

"And I wasn't," I counter slyly, now standing in front of him, gazing up. "Think about it."

He does. A little crease appears in between his eyes, which are narrowing slightly, his mouth tightening. A hand comes up and runs through his thick hair, messing it up even more than it was before naturally. The hand drops to his side and just when I'm about to throw my own two into the air and scream my undivided love for the guy, James gets it.

The brown of his eyes are huge now, wide and shocked. His lips spread into a huge smile revealing pearly white teeth, a little dimple appearing on his left cheek which I know means he's truly… happy. A blush materializes on my own face and I sort of wish I wasn't doing this but its way too late for that.

"You…" He struggles. "You are very odd."

"Shut up, James." Yes, the first name thing was on purpose. I smile genuinely up at him, nervous and excited and giddy all at the same time. I'm having a system overload and I'm not sure which mode this is, but _I like it_.

Suddenly he's smiling too, but it's more mischievous and I'm afraid there's something behind me so I start to revolve around. I don't get very far; his arm comes out and slides around my waist, tugging me up against him.

My gasp barely leaves my lips when his are covering them, kissing them, paying colossal attention to them. That's it, this ship has sunk and I'm doomed.

Doomed but so lightheaded because James Potter is kissing me and the rumors are true, he's simply brilliant at it! So I do the rational thing and gently press my lips against his in return, feeling his grin beneath them. Cocky git.

He presses his hand against my lower back, causing me to get even closer. I don't fight the urge that makes me take his simple white shirt in my fists, holding him to me. I've never felt so connected like this, but I've also never felt so carefree, so… unafraid.

All too soon for my (and probably his) liking, the alarm in my head goes off signaling I need air, but James is my air and I'd rather just keep kissing him. Reluctantly, very reluctantly, I pull away from him.

We're both breathing embarrassingly heavy. I open my eyes to see James already gazing down at me, wearing that same grin that I felt.

"I never thought I'd end up in the forbidden forest, let alone kissing you in it," I whisper to him, feeling his chuckle rumble in his chest. Oh, yeah, I'm still holding tightly onto him. Whoops.

"Any regrets?" James asks me, his hand lazily making circles that bring warmth to me.

"Not really." I release his shirt and run my hands along his shoulders (like I've always dreamt of doing) and up through his hair. My heavens, this is quite the turn on.

James smiles, leaning down and resting his forehead against mine. "Do you want to go further?"

"You better be talking about the forbidden forest now, mister."


End file.
